67 ways you know that you have been in Russia too long…
 
1.  . You have to think twice about throwing away an empty instant coffee jar.
2.  . You carry a plastic shopping bag with you “just in case”.
3.  . You say he/she is “on the meeting” (instead of “at the” or “in a” meeting).
4.  . You answer the phone by saying “allo, allo, allo” before giving the caller a chance to respond.
5.  . You save table scraps for the cats living in the courtyard.
6.  . When crossing the street, you sprint.
7.  . In winter, you choose your route by determining which icicles are least likely to impale you in the head.
8.  . You let the telephone ring at least 5 times before you pick it up because it is probably a mis-connection or electric fault.
9.  . You hear the radio say it is zero degrees outside and you think it is a nice day for a change.
10.  . You win a shoving match with an old Babushka for a place in line and you are proud of it.
11.  . You are pleasantly surprised when there is toilet paper in the WC at work.
12.  . You look at people’s shoes to determine where they are from.
13.  . Your day seems brighter after seeing that goon’s Mercedes broadsided by a pensioner’s “Moskvich”.
14.  . Your not sure what to do you when the “GAI” (traffic cop) only asks you to pay the official fine.
15.  . You wonder what the tax inspector really wants when she says everything is in order.
16.  . You plan your vacation around those times of the year when the hot water is turned off.
17.  . You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus actually uses a handkerchief.
18.  . You are envious because your expat friend has smaller door keys than you have.
19.  . You ask for no ice in your drink.
20.  . You go mushroom and berry picking out of necessity instead of recreation.
21.  . You develop a liking for beets.
22.  . You know what Dostoyevsky’s favorite color was.
23.  . You start to believe that you’re a character in a Tolstoi novel.
24.  . You know seven people whose favorite novel is “The Master and Margarita”.
25.  . You change into tapki (slippers) and wash your hands as soon as you walk into your apartment.
26.  . You take a trip to Budapest and think you’ve been to heaven.
27.  . You start thinking of black bread as a good chaser for vodka. So are pickles.
28.  . You drink the brine from empty pickle jars.
29.  . You can read barcodes, and you start shopping for products by their country of production.
30.  . You begin to refer to locals as “nashi” (ours). Or they start to refer to you as nash.
31.  . It doesn’t seem strange to pay the GAI $2 for crossing the double line while making an illegal U-turn, and $ 25 for a microwaved dish of frozen vegetables at a crappy restaurant.
32.  . Your coffee cups habitually smell of vodka.
33.  . You know more than 7 Olgas.
34.  . You give you business card to social acquaintances.
35.  . You wear a wool hat in the sauna.
36.  . You put the empty bottle of wine on the floor in a restaurant.
37.  . You are rude to people at the airport or where ever for no reason.
38.  . Cigarette smoke becomes ‘tolerable’.
39.  . You think metal doors are a necessity.
40.  . You changed apartments 6 times in 6 months.
41.  . A gallon of gasoline or milk seems like a foreign concept.
42.  . You think that the Manezh is a real shopping mall.
43.  . You look for kvas and kefir in the supermarket, and ask to buy half a head of cabbage.
44.  . You don’t feel guilty about not paying on the trolley.
45.  . You can sleep through a hangover without curtains on your windows.
46.  . The elevator aroma seems reassuring somehow.
47.  . You no longer think washing clothes in the bathtub is an inconvenience.
48.  . You can heat water on the stove and shower with it in under 10 minutes.
49.  . You bring your own scale and calculator to the market to make sure the amount you are charged is correct.
50.  . A weekend anywhere in the Baltics qualifies as a trip to the West.
51.  . You sit in silence with your eyes shut for a few moments before leaving on any long journey.
52.  . You look in the mirror to turn away bad luck if you have to return home to pick something up you’ve forgotten.
53.  . You catch yourself whistling indoors and feel guilty.
54.  . You never smile in public when you’re alone.
55.  . You know the official at the metro station/airport/border post/post office/railway station etc. etc. is going to say “nyet”, but you argue anyway.
56.  . When you save tea-bags of Yorkshire Tea brought over specially from home to use for a second cup later….
57.  . When that strange pungent mix of odours of stale sawdust, sweat and grime in the metro makes you feel safe and at home….
58.  . You get wildly offended when you are asked to pay at the coatcheck.
59.  . You cross yourself on the number 6 .
60.  . (For women) When you dress up in your best outfits for work and ride the metro.
61.  . When the word “salad” ceases for you to have anything to do with lettuce.
62.  . When mayonnaise becomes your salad dressing of choice.
63.  . When you begin paying attention to peoples’ floors and can distinguish the quality of linoleum and/or parquet, and thus determine social status, taste, and income e.g. embezzled, earned, pension, unpaid, etc.).
64.  . You get excited when the dentist smiles and has all his own teeth.
65.  . You can spark a debate by asking for a decent Mexican restaurant.
66.  . You laugh at Russian jokes.
67.  . You actually get these jokes.
 
And when you go back to the “home country”:
 
. You think it’s too hot, no matter what season you return.
. You specify “no gas” when asking for mineral water.
. Your friends have to keep reminding you that the word is “restroom”, not “toilet”.
. You are dumbstruck when high school or college students wait on you with a smile, reciting a 30 second spiel on the “specials of the day” - and display complete knowledge of the contents of each menu item…
. You tip very little, even for great service.
. You try to pay a traffic fine on the spot and get arrested for attempted bribery.
. You look for kvas and kefir in the supermarket, and ask to buy half a head of cabbage.
. You are surprised to see that the cooks and waiters in a Chinese restaurant are actually Chinese.
. You get bored with the pace and organization around you, and can’t wait to get back to Russia.
. You see a car behind you with flashing lights and think it’s some politician.
. You are in awe that after 5 days home your shoes are still clean.

MOSCOU, 25 octobre - RIA Novosti. Le baryton Mouslim Magomaïev, artiste du peuple de l'URSS aussi familier des planches de la Scala de Milan que des projecteurs de l'Olympia, s'est éteint samedi à 66 ans des suites d'une longue maladie, annonce la chaîne russe Vesti.  
 
Né à Bakou (Azerbaïdjan) en 1942 dans une famille d'artistes, diplômé du conservatoire en piano et composition, un concert au palais du Kremlin en clôture d'un festival d'art azéri lui ouvrit les portes d'une carrière internationale en 1962.
 
Artiste aux multiples facettes, il a en outre tourné dans plusieurs films, participé à des émissions télévisées et écrit un livre sur le Mario Lanza, un ténor américain du milieu du XXe siècle.

KIEV, 29 octobre - RIA Novosti. Intervenant mercredi lors d'un point de presse à Bruxelles, le ministre ukrainien des Affaires étrangères, Vladimir Ogryzko, a espéré que l'UE abolirait le régime des visas pour l'Ukraine avant 2012, rapporte le correspondant de RIA Novosti sur place.  
 
"Pour l'Ukraine, il est très important d'achever ce processus avant le Championnat d'Europe de football - l'Euro-2012 - conjointement organisé par la Pologne et l'Ukraine, a indiqué le chef de la diplomatie ukrainienne à l'issue d'un entretien avec le vice-président de la Commission européenne (CE), Jacques Barrot, responsable pour Justice, Liberté et Sécurité.
 
Mercredi, la Commission européenne et l'Ukraine ont officiellement entamé des consultations sur l'introduction d'un régime sans visas. La décision en avait été prise lors du sommet UE-Ukraine le 9 septembre dernier à Paris.

Les titulaires de passeports des pays membres de l’Union Européenne (sauf de la Bulgarie et de la Roumanie), des Etats Unis d’Amérique, du Canada, de la Confédération Suisse, de la Principauté d’Andorre, de la Principauté de Liechtenstein, de la Principauté de Monaco,du Japon sont exemptés de l’obligation de visa pour voyager en Ukraine pour une période inférieure à 90 jours.