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  Why I Hate The French

 


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Why I Hate The French

n°8362201
humla
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:52:54  profilanswer
 

It was more than gratifying watching French President Jacques Chirac suffer his own personal China Syndrome a week or two back. Jacques was outraged that many of the countries of Eastern Europe are supporting the noble American goal of terminating Saddam Hussein. He labeled those who dared to disagree with his collaborationist wishes "infantile," and "reckless." He said that they had "missed a good opportunity to keep quiet" and threatened to block their inclusion in the European Union. Frankly, Chirac's speech was frighteningly reminiscent of one of Tom Daschle's televised melt-downs. I wonder if those guys are related?  
 
At any rate, such whimpering cowardice and tendency toward premature capitulation is exactly what one should expect of France. A quick review of its history and culture immediately reveals the complete absence of both gray matter, taste buds and a collective spine.  
 
The French invented a critically acclaimed style of cuisine which utilizes copious amounts of goose blood and involves hideous concepts such as boiling trout in spoiled cream. In truth, you'll find better fare in the dumpster behind a Red Lobster. The French eat horse. They eat glands. They eat bugs. I know this because they rarely brush their teeth. Their women whine and complain and braid their armpit hair. Their men are beret-wearing twig-boys with bad complexions. All French people consider themselves intellectually superior, and I suppose they are if the comparison is to an incontinent house cat. Give them two minutes and they will inevitably rave of their sexual prowess, which is a little like Christopher Reeve bragging about his speed in the 40 yard dash.  
 
The French specialize in crummy cars, unjustified arrogance and mimes. In truth, the only area in which they truly excel is failure. The French tried to construct the Panama Canal; Americans had to finish it. The French tried to colonize Vietnam; America was left with the mess when they ran.  
 
You may not know this, but the official bird of France is the rooster, which is not surprising when you consider the French war record. They lost the Algerian Rebellion. They lost the aforementioned war in Indochina. They lost the Franco Prussian war. They lost the Wars of Religion against the Huguenots. They lost the Italian Wars. They lost the Gallic Wars. I need not mention World War I and World War II, except to say that the French people would now be goose-stepping and eating sauerkraut (a vast improvement in their diets) if not for American intervention. When the Germans crossed the border the French "patriots" rolled on their backs and begged to serve the Nazis. I personally think France needs a new flag...a bright yellow one with a picture of Foghorn Leghorn in the middle.  
 
But lets be fair here. France briefly won some battles during the Napoleonic era, but only because their leader was from Corsica. They claim to have won the Hundred Years War, but that was because the non-French, extremely bi-polar Joan of Arc took over their armies. The French did win the French Revolution, but how tough can it be fighting another Frenchman? It seems to me that the victor would be the guy who could run the fastest.  
 
France's greatest contribution to the civilized world is body odor. They rave about their art and wine, which often resembles freestyle finger-painting performed by a street bum gassed-up on Ripple. They despise all things American, and have even passed laws making it illegal - I'm not making this up - to call a cheese burger a cheeseburger. They call them "la croissant fromage." The French gave the world both the guillotine and the umbrella, which illustrates in a nutshell how the muddled brains of these people operate. I've yet to see a decapitated individual who gave a flip if his head got wet.  
 
The French think Jerry Lewis is funny. That's just sick.  
 
Therefore, considering the obvious fact that many of the French suffer from low self esteem, gastrointestinal difficulty, terminal ugliness and a rather unsightly Messiah complex, it should come as no surprise that they now wish to lose the War on Terrorism. Lets keep in mind that this is the country that gave safe harbor to the Ayatollah Khomeini for 14 years. They are a socialist nanny state whose citizens wish to be taken care of from cradle to grave. They want others to fight their battles, pay their bills and heap them with the praise they so richly don't deserve.  
 
Now, least the gentle reader misunderstand, there are a few French commodities which are worthy of notice. I enjoy both French fries and French kissing, and in my youth enjoyed humming along to traditional French tunes such as "I seen London, I seen France, I seen Betty's underpants." French's Mustard is pretty good too.  
 
Also, there are a lot of people in America who boast French ancestry. They are obviously cool and come from good stock...  
 
Mostly because their great-grandparents were smart enough to leave France.

mood
Publicité
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:52:54  profilanswer
 

n°8362212
simchevelu
Oui mais non...
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:54:11  profilanswer
 

euh... lol  :D
 

Spoiler :

IWH First  [:cfluide]


Message édité par simchevelu le 09-05-2006 à 16:59:08
n°8362216
-neon-
Illuminé
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:54:31  profilanswer
 

ok :D


---------------
L'atelier sous l'éclipse - "One side of me says, I'd like to talk to her, date her. The other side of me says, I wonder what her head would look like on a stick?"
n°8362218
papy_danon​e
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:54:37  profilanswer
 

Wrong forum, try www.fuckfrance.com

n°8362221
minusplus
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:54:59  profilanswer
 

spik inglich ? [:zaib3k]
 
ouate taïme iz it ? [:zaib3k]
 
aïe bègue your pardonne ?  [:zaib3k]
 

n°8362225
caudacien
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:55:18  profilanswer
 

[:gordon shumway] t'es surveillé gamin :o

n°8362232
la questio​n
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:55:48  profilanswer
 

http://www.jimjagger.com/EricCantona/Media/Kick/Cantona_6.jpg
 
the best answer. :o


---------------
Le rôle d'un ministre [...] est-il de jouer avec les mots, les notions et les chiffres [...] pour sauver la mise de son patron qui lance une idée idiote par jour ?
n°8362236
Nicodonald
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:55:56  profilanswer
 

Thank u for your contribution :jap:

n°8362237
humla
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:55:59  profilanswer
 

papy_danone, va te faire *****

n°8362238
simchevelu
Oui mais non...
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:56:00  profilanswer
 

minusplus a écrit :

spik inglich ? [:zaib3k]
 
ouate taïme iz it ? [:zaib3k]
 
aïe bègue your pardonne ?  [:zaib3k]


 
Maille (qui m'aille) tailorre ise riche

mood
Publicité
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:56:00  profilanswer
 

n°8362244
simchevelu
Oui mais non...
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:56:47  profilanswer
 

humla a écrit :

papy_danone, va te faire *****


 
[:ban]

n°8362245
Nicodonald
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:56:53  profilanswer
 

humla a écrit :

papy_danone, va te faire *****


Nous ne pouvons lire l'integralité de ta réponse :(

n°8362246
papy_danon​e
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:56:53  profilanswer
 

humla a écrit :

papy_danone, va te faire *****


 
foutre ?

n°8362248
minusplus
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:57:02  profilanswer
 

humla a écrit :

papy_danone, va te faire *****


va te faire étoiles :??:

n°8362249
d3fr4kt
Who's the man ?
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:57:04  profilanswer
 

[:delarue5]


---------------
"Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream"
n°8362252
papy_danon​e
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:57:16  profilanswer
 

j'ai trouvé le mot, j'ai gagné.

n°8362260
everfrost
Amused
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:58:03  profilanswer
 

If if, between :o


---------------
Elite Dangerous : CMDR Promizoulin
n°8362262
Ayuget
R.oger
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:58:11  profilanswer
 

God bless America!

n°8362263
minusplus
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:58:11  profilanswer
 

papy_danone a écrit :

j'ai trouvé le mot, j'ai gagné.


'ttends on a pas eu la réponse de l'abitre... :o

n°8362266
Nicodonald
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:58:24  profilanswer
 

papy_danone a écrit :

j'ai trouvé le mot, j'ai gagné.

 


[:draculax_tt]

n°8362280
Scrypt
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:59:22  profilanswer
 

does you ? ©  [:fing fang fung]

n°8362288
t-w
HDBNG club
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 16:59:55  profilanswer
 

si c'etait pas interdit par la charte je lancerais bien un "WE :o...

n°8362291
papy_danon​e
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:00:02  profilanswer
 

I miss you so. Seems like it's been forever.

n°8362295
disconect
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:00:10  profilanswer
 

Humla, j'ai lu l'ensemble de tes contributions sur "Discussions", c'est dommage que y ai plus de Boulet d'Or [:dawa]

n°8362300
boubougna
- de buratta, +de combats
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:00:36  profilanswer
 

humla a écrit :

It was more than gratifying watching French President Jacques Chirac suffer his own personal China [...]
Mostly because their great-grandparents were smart enough to leave France.


Rassures moi, t'as piqué ca quelque part ?? car te faire autant ***** (une nouvelle boit de paté en jeu  :D ) pour faire un post aussi *****... Alors que ta dernière intervention était de bas niveau (cf profil du jh)

n°8362302
Nicodonald
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:00:56  profilanswer
 

t-w a écrit :

si c'etait pas interdit par la charte je lancerais bien un "WE  :o ...

 


Ne rien dire,
ne rien dire,
ne rien dire,
ne rien dire,
ne rien dire,
ne rien dire,

 


 [:doriangray]

n°8362306
t-w
HDBNG club
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:01:15  profilanswer
 

disconect a écrit :

Humla, j'ai lu l'ensemble de tes contributions sur "Discussions", c'est dommage que y ai plus de Boulet d'Or [:dawa]


 
 
un truc un peu comme la cat "meilleur film etranger" au cesar? [:dawa]

Message cité 1 fois
Message édité par t-w le 09-05-2006 à 17:01:31
n°8362311
coincoinca​nard
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:01:33  profilanswer
 

humla a écrit :

The French invented a critically acclaimed style of cuisine which utilizes copious amounts of goose blood and involves hideous concepts such as boiling trout in spoiled cream. In truth, you'll find better fare in the dumpster behind a Red Lobster. The French eat horse. They eat glands. They eat bugs. I know this because they rarely brush their teeth.

 

[:iorili]

n°8362312
humla
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:01:35  profilanswer
 
n°8362314
everfrost
Amused
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:01:56  profilanswer
 

Un ricain qui critique notre président en même temps c'est l'hôpital qui se fout de la charité...


---------------
Elite Dangerous : CMDR Promizoulin
n°8362316
d3fr4kt
Who's the man ?
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:02:02  profilanswer
 

L'auteur de ce texte richement argumenté étant Ron Marr.
 
edit : grilled

Message cité 1 fois
Message édité par d3fr4kt le 09-05-2006 à 17:02:31

---------------
"Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream"
n°8362321
disconect
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:02:33  profilanswer
 

t-w a écrit :

un truc un peu comme la cat "meilleur film etranger" au cesar? [:dawa]


voila [:dawa]
 
Je sais pas pourquoi, mais je le sens bien ce topic  [:jeje44]

n°8362329
minusplus
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:03:07  profilanswer
 
n°8362331
boubougna
- de buratta, +de combats
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:03:13  profilanswer
 

d3fr4kt a écrit :

L'auteur de ce texte richement argumenté étant Ron Marr.
 
edit : grilled


J'ai eu peur, j'ai cru qu'on fetait le premier post argumenté de humla !! ouf c'était qu'une feinte  :sarcastic:

n°8362334
papy_danon​e
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:03:35  profilanswer
 

copy pasting is for girlies. I expected more from you humla

n°8362336
caudacien
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:03:46  profilanswer
 

Si on envahissait massivement les forums ricains pour les pooryr aussi [:dawa]

n°8362338
simchevelu
Oui mais non...
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:03:54  profilanswer
 

Humla...
...out ! (faut que j'arrête l'allemand moi  :D )

n°8362339
as253
Loucheur averti
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:03:55  profilanswer
 

everfrost a écrit :

Un ricain qui critique notre président en même temps c'est l'hôpital qui se fout de la charité...


 
 
[:al_bundy] copain  :sol:

n°8362343
disconect
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:04:10  profilanswer
 

Au fait, on sait toujours pas de quelle école d'ingé il s'agissait hein ? :o

n°8362351
Zoup TRALA​LA
Posté le 09-05-2006 à 17:04:36  profilanswer
 

everfrost a écrit :

Un ricain qui critique notre président en même temps c'est l'hôpital qui se fout de la charité...


 
mais clair  :ouch:

mood
Publicité
Posté le   profilanswer
 

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