Bonsoir tout le monde,
 
Je suis actuellement en première.
Cette été je pars en séjour linguistique au usa dans une famille d'accueil et pour cela je dosi écrire une lettre de présentation afin de meiux "cerner" ma personnalité , cependant j'ai des petits soucis..
 
En effet, je ne suis pas tres forte en langue (je part la bas pour m'améliorer ) , je n'arrive pas a ordonner mes idées et a en rajouter , et pour finir la grammaire etc.. laisse a désirer..
Pouvez vous m'aider ?
 
"Dear sir,  
 
My name is Laura, im 16year old.
I leave in the south west of the france, with the beach and the mountain.
Im in the sixth form ,in economics & social option english . Later, i would like to be humanitarian worker or working in the the commercial negotiation.
Even if, my marks in spain and english are not very good I do the best i can because my dream is speaking a lot of languages, to understand and share with all the people in the world.  
Ive got one little sister whos 13years old, we re very close, she is an artist
My main passion is my friend, doing party to the sea side all the night, dancing until not be able to, just be with them eating chocolate..
My friend are very different: dancer, a nigerian, bresilian, surfer,  
 
I am a highly energetic self-starter, indeed im keen on travel to meet new pople and differents culture, to share my viewpoint.
Since 2years i play guitar, one hour a week with a great professor who makes me discover a lot of bands who have seen in concert: Cocoon, Placebo, jack johnson.. Besides, generally i like all the kinds of music: pop, rnb, rock, reggae ..
I go to the cinema around once a month, my favorite movie is Into the wild, because its an adventure film about a travel in USA !
Photography, sports, shopping.. People around me say im a jack of all trades.
 
It will please to me to meet you to discuss it more.
Please accept the expression of my best greetings."

Salut Lauramae,
 
Je ne suis pas une bète en anglais, mais j'ai corrigé quelques fautes évidentes sur ton texte. Je trouve ta lettre correcte, dans la mesure où les destinataires savent que tu as des lacunes en Anglais, et que tu compte aller chez eux pour t'améliorer!!
 
Retiens juste une chose, a l'écrit, on n'utilise jamais les abréviation qu'on fait à l'oral ou sur msn: I'm s'écrit toujours I am, la même pour we re...
J'espère que ça t'aider
++
 
"Dear sir,  
 
My name is Laura, I am 16year old.  
I leave in the south west of the France, next to the sea and mountains.  
I am in the sixth form, major economics & social, minor English. I would like to be humanitarian or a commercial negotiator.  
Even if, my marks in Spanish and English are not very good, I do my best to improve my level because my dream is to speak fluently a lot of languages, to understand and share with all the people in the world.  
I have one little sister who is 13 years old, we are very close. She is an artist.  
My passions are my friends, partying on the sea side all the night, dancing until not be able to, and be with my friends eating chocolate…  
My friends are very different from me. Some are dancers, others surfers… They come from many different countries: Nigeria, Brasil…
I am a highly energetic self-starter; indeed I’m keen on travel to meet new people and different cultures, to share my viewpoint.  
Two years ago, I started learning how to play guitar, one hour a week with a great professor who makes me discover a lot of bands which he seen in concerts: Cocoon, Placebo, jack johnson.. Besides, generally I like all kinds of music: pop, rnb, rock, reggae ..  
I go to the cinema once a month, my favourite movie is Into the wild, because its an adventure film about a travel in USA !  
I also like photography, sports, shopping.. People around me say I am a jack of all trades.  
 
I will be pleased to meet you to discuss it more.  
Please accept the expression of my best greetings."
 

"Dear sir,  
 
My name is Laura, I am 16 years old.
I leave in the south west of the france, with the beach and the mountain.
I am in the sixth form ,in business andeconomics & social option english . Later, i would like to be humanitarian worker or working in the the commercial negotiation (C'est pas du tout le même genre de boulot et de profil, je te dis ça pour toi.
Even if, my marks in spain and english are not very good I do the best i can because my dream is speaking a lot of languages, to understand and share with all the people in the world.   Ca na rien a faire là tu vas en anleterre, ils s'en foutent que tu parlent espagnol comme une vache anglaise
Ive got one little sister who is 13 years old, we re very close, she is an artist
My main passion is my friend, doing party to the sea side all the night, dancing until not be able to, just be with them eating chocolate. Je me répete mais ce ne sont pas des passions
My friends are very different: dancer, a nigerian, bresilian, surfer,  Ne le dit pas comme ca dit que tu es ouverte d'esprit et que tu as envie de faire des expériences
 
I am a highly energetic self-starter, indeed im keen on travelling in orderto meet new people and differents cultures, to share my viewpoint. (Voyager c'est partager quand tu vas à l'étranger c'est avant tout pour t'immerger dans une autre culture. Comme tu l'as dit ça faisait trop j'apporte  la bonne parole. Les anglais DÉTESTENT ça encore plus des arrogants français
Since 2 years i have played guitar, one hour a week with a great professor who makes me discover a lot of bands who have seen in concert: Cocoon, Placebo (J'adore Placebo, ça ne se met pas dans une lettre de motivation et essaie de trouver un groupe anglais), jack johnson.. Besides, generally i like all the kinds of music: pop, rnb, rock, reggae ..
I go to the cinema around once a month, my favorite movie is Into the wild, because its an adventure film about a travel in USA !
Photography, sports, shopping.. People around me say im a jack of all trades (Cette expression peut être ambigu et suivant les contextes elle peut être péjorative. Tu n'as pas encore le niveau pour utiliser des expressios anglaises.
 
I would be pleased to me to meet you and to give you further informations.
Please accept the expression of my best greetings."
yours faithfully ou Very truly yours

Avant de tenter l'anglais je m'occuperais du français ...

 
incassable?    

Merci pour tout ces conseils .

I live in the south west of France
 
To leave = quitter

 
Oups avait pas vu  

 
C'est marrant comme les gens qui essaient de casser les autres sur leur pratique du français finissent par se casser eux-mêmes... Ca vaut pour vous deux mais Incassable a raison pour le coup...