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redaction d'anglais

Posté le 07-10-2007 à 00:13:13  profilanswer

voila j'ai une expression d'anglais a faire dont le sujet est  :" Would you be ready to take a year off ? "  
Voila ce que j'ai fais :  
I believe that taking a year off is a very important decision, which can change your life.  
That's why I think we must study the advantages and the drawbacks of this experience.  
In my opinion, I suppose that a gap year is a very educational possibility.  
Firstly, I broaden my horizons by visiting a new country, living with an entire foreign family  who would allow me to explore and enrich my knowledge and discover their culture, their customs, their traditions. This could be very interesting.
Furthemore, I would achieve, by contributing to do something, helping people in need. Mainly I believe I will realise at the moment how I am lucky studying in a great school and have opportunity to have a job experience which could be really useful for the future. Like this I  will be able to learn a new skill, gain a qualification and brush up on english.
By taking this gap year, I will also make benefits which help me to get a good situation in life.
However although a year off could be very interesting it has got in my opinion some disadvantages.
At first, I'm sure I miss my family and they miss me too probably, although I guess I would call them and write them often, but would it be sufficient ??  
Then, if I take my gap year now I think it would me waste my year devoting my studies.
Finally I find unlike a year, I would prefer 3 months or 6 months. It would be enough in my opinion.
With conviction I wouldn't be ready to take a year off studies now, although it seems to be very pleasant.
However, why won't I take a year off before going to the university ??  I'm almost sure I won't hesitate to leave France !!  
Pouvez vous me dire ce que vous en pensez , s'il y a a des fautes grammaticales ou de syntaxe ??  

Posté le 07-10-2007 à 00:13:13  profilanswer

Posté le 07-10-2007 à 00:33:53  profilanswer

Non, à première vue, c'est bien ecrit et il n'y a pas de fautes !!!!

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